Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Cow Analogy

There is an interesting analogy that has been posted in our lab ever since I started. Nobody knows the source. It appears to be some sort of description of different types of governments based on a language understood by most midwesterners. Feel free to banter amongst yourselves about whether it's true and/or add on if there is an important one missing (i.e. LIBERTARIANISM).

FEUDALISM:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

TOTALITARIANISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

PURE COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARISM:
You have two cows. the government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "cowgate." The cow sues you for breach of contract.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other one and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

4 comments:

mwz said...

I suppose it would go something like this:

Libertarianism: You have two cows and you get to keep the milk, but if they die it's your problem.

Anonymous said...

Libertarianism:

You have two cows and let the market decide what they do. The cows wander
off.

mwz said...

Well Mr. anonymous, you have a strange view of libertarians and their ability to hold onto their property.

Anonymous said...

Well, MWZ, how does this one sound:

You have two cows...and govt can take them from your cold dead hands.