The Zipper Situation

I have a pair of pants that has a fly that either always comes open or eludes my zippy fingers. I ran an experiment yesterday where I actually documented the Zipper Situation after each Zipper Encounter so that I could have some statistics at the end of the day. My results were fairly simple: when I was paying attention, the fly somehow managed to stay zipped. My conclusion (from this limited sample set): The fly must be eluding my zippy fingers. Next time I wear those pants, I will try to pay more attention.

Speaking of paying attention, in my last two weeks at my current job, I have managed to mysteriously lose two important protocols, and a rack that I have had and loved since I started six years ago. The stuff I haven't lost I am putting up for auction at a Bench Sale tomorrow. Now this is a neat-o idea (that I came up with all by myself): instead of tossing out all your crap when you leave, hold a widely publicized Bench Sale at your bench or desk, get everyone excited, and then convince your co-workers they need your crap and then you don't have to deal with getting rid of it. Everyone comes out happier in the end. I am actually not going to auction anything off or even sell it at bargain prices (although my co-workers really thought it would be more fun - but I'm going for less work, not more here) - I am planning to simply give everything away to whomever looks interested. The problem is, if there is a high commodity item (and I may have a few), a fight may break out. This is particularly dangerous where I work because there are two people with training in martial arts and a few other people that just like to fight. Hmmm, actually, it may be an interesting day tomorrow...

When I put up a sign for my Bench Sale tomorrow, it got changed immediately to "Stench Sale" and then, later, "Wench Sale." I'm getting confused.