The Big Decision

I have chosen to go to Seattle, now I am waiting for a response (it's between me and someone else, and there's a chance he can take both of us). Although I didn't do any other interviews, I did very seriously consider several other labs - but before I interviewed, and even after, I knew that the lab in Seattle head and shoulders more appealing to me than the other labs that I was considering, for several reasons: it is at the forefront of the field I'm interested in, thereby giving me many options for projects that will all take me into an interesting and potentially successful career; this lab is also the size I'm interested in, with several other experienced post-docs as well as a few grad students (who were all very nice and cooperative, just what I was looking for); the PI was just the type of guy I get along with and comes highly recommended as a good person from both my boss and my connections; and the geographical location fits what both I and my husband are looking for.

In making this decision, I considered those other labs on my list very seriously, which took most of my energy and time last week. I sought advise from my boss and another post-doc in my lab (who were both very helpful), carefully researched the other labs that I was originally interested in (and ruled them out one by one as significantly less ideal than the one in Seattle for various reasons), and determined whether the projects that I heard about in Seattle were what I really want to do and what will really help me spark a successful career (I decided that they are). After all that, I'll be disappointed if I have to start over with a new round of interviews, but if I must I will - and I'm trying to keep my mind open to it in case it comes to that - it'll be a new round (Round 2) with slightly lowered criteria. At least I gave myself plenty of time for this whole thing, I can't imagine trying to make these big decisions in the middle of a time crunch.

This whole thing is hard! I can see now why a lot of people (women especially) drop out of it at this stage - it takes a lot of guts and a really clear perception of one's own interests to do this kind of thing. You have to figure out what it is you've always wanted to do (and make money doing), go through a scary interview process (at least in my case, where it was a competetive interview), make decisions about what kinds of things will carry you into your dream job, and worst of all, you are constantly picturing yourself in an unfamiliar environment - doing unfamiliar experiments, surrounded by people you barely know, working for a boss you just met, and cultivating a project you just found out about in a field you've only ever been peripherally familiar with. I was way outside of my comfort zone the entire time I was in Seattle and missed my husband and my cozy Minneapolis apartment more than I did the whole time I was in Europe. I even missed my mommy!

Now back to my regular life, and trying to distract myself as always from my scary and foreboding future. I'll keep you all posted if I hear anything!