Welcome to the Hotel J & D - Rock!

(Sing to the tune of "Hotel California")

On a lit city bus route, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of the homeless, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There they stood in the doorway;
Shirts matching and all
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
They gave me a thumbs up, then showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel J & D - Rock
Such a lovely place
Both have a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel J & D - Rock
Any time of year, you can find it here

I found Netlix on the table, and a made-up bed and all
They got lots of pretty, pretty photos of themselves on the wall
How they dance in the backyard, sweet summer sweat.
They dance after drinking, they hope you forget.

So I called up the D-man,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'I've been a Manhattan man since nineteen ninety
nine'
And then they start calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel J & D - ROCK!
Such a lovely place
Both have a lovely face
We livin' it up at the Hotel J & D - ROCK!
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And the D-man puts on his cooking apron to cook a dinner so nice

But J-Funk took me to the gym,
I took her cycle class before the feast
I stabbed out with my steely knives,
But you just can't kill a beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the bus route back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the D-man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave!