My Dad started doing this thing where he reviews his life by headlines like you might see in the paper. I thought I might try it here. For reference, I'm J, my husband is D.
Weekend Headlines:
Heat wave continues to make midwesterners wish they were elsewhere (like Ohio)
D constantly harrasses J to come look at his balls (his "animated" balls)
Hairy Pooper no. 6 debuts, J nearly goes mad waiting for pre-ordered copy to arrive
J & D don swimsuits for first time this summer, J develops huge zit on her butt, has trouble sitting, wears swimsuit anyway
J gets asked to swing dance by a stranger, D is so excited he levitates at Junior Brown concert in downtown Mpls
J's boss offers freedom from the chains of school by December and discusses J's upcoming trips to Japan (possible), Florida (probable) and Denmark (imminent) this year
J begins vacation from teaching spin at the YWCA; proceeds to not exercise at all, zit on butt gets bigger due to butt expansion
J decides to contact one more person (in Toronto) about doing a post-doc; musters up nerve by trying to pop zit on butt
Zit on J's butt retaliates, J has to wear loose pants
J and D finally make it back to Dairy Queen, life resumes
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