It seems there's a good reason why we haven't made any friends yet in Seattle - the city is notoriously unfriendly according to this article. Actually, they are very friendly on the surface (welcoming you to the neighborhood, stopping to let you go first on the freeway, chatting about the weather at the bus stop, etc) but when it comes to inviting you over for their super-bowl party or any other social engagement they will give you "the Seattle freeze" - when asked about their weekend plans, their smile freezes on their face and they quickly exit the room.
I think my Studly Hubby and I are pretty friendly people. And we knew we'd have to make an effort to make new friends when we moved, so we really put out the effort - we planned social engagements with every group we were connected to, we started going to church, I joined a book club, etc etc. And this was a big investment for us - with my Studly Hubby in school, we didn't have too much extra time on our hands. And for all our efforts, there were no apparent promising leads - people showed up, we had a good time, but there was no mention of future get-togethers. And church was getting really awful - I realized quickly that the only people talking to me (with a few exceptions) were other new people, most of which were kind of weird. I was a little offended, so even though I was enjoying the (non-)service itself, I didn't want to be shunned like that afterwards so decided to stop going (and spent my Sunday mornings instead going to a hot yoga class where I'm guaranteed to make no friends). I am having fun at the book club and will keep going to that, but for the most part it's 40-somethings with kids.
It was incredibly refreshing going to San Francisco for the Studly Hubby's graduation ceremony with Animation Mentor and meeting all of his classmates. They were friendly, interesting people that socialized as much as possible over the weekend. We immediately met at least three other couples that we could have become really great friends with. Why hasn't that happened here? I guess I have to be patient. After spending the last year feeling guilty for not hanging out with my friends enough, I am suddenly feeling very lonely. I am very grateful my Studly Hubby was able to move here with me, and I think it would be a huge challenge to move here by oneself.
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5 comments:
Cincinnati was the same way for me. People I met agreed that it is very hard to break into established circles of people there and people are sort of unwilling to make new friends. I think that's just stupid. Why would people not want to make new friends??
Maybe you should just socialize with the other new people (like at your church). I guess the newcomers are not new forever.
Try a running club...they are usually really social!
Anything worth having will take time. Patience Grasshopper.
My part of Florida is the same way. People who live here almost always grew up here. They have their friends, the ones they went to school with, and unless you can go back in time there's no hope of being let in.
Very frustrating.
I don't know. I've seen lots of other cities and there is nothing like it is here. In Chicago, in three different neighborhoods that we lived in, we knew our neighbors. We knew their kids and their dogs and we partied in their kitchens and etc.
Ditto Arizona. Although all of our friends did seem to be transplant Midwesterners...
It is tough here. I don't think that there is an answer. We are already talking about returning to Chicago when I'm done with school.
kind of sad, really.
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