Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Evolution of Man and Woman

I must briefly reflect on some things I have learned from my close association with my man over the past couple of years. First, I want to point out that I try very hard not to be sexist, but after living and learning I am having a very hard time of it. There are some very fundamental differences between us that may not reflect general gender differences but sure make sense when you think about our evolution. Here are a few examples:

1. I forage, he hunts.

While I am settling for popcorn and a banana for dinner, the man is wondering what meat to cook. When we go to the grocery store, I pilfer the shelves for sales and interesting new items, lingering at displays, sometimes forgetting my initial purpose entirely. Without a list I am hopeless. He goes straight for the essentials and maintains impressive focus.

2. I nest, he procreates.

I am extremely concerned about the state of our apartment, is it clean, do I feel comfortable there, is it decorated appropriately, etc. My man never thinks about these things. From what I gather, the urge to procreate is fairly a fairly strong and dominant force, and I find it interesting that we neuter most of our domesticated pets but are living with unneutered husbands.

3. I am not as strong as him.

I wish I were, but I'm not. It really makes me mad, too.

4. I think constantly about everything, he doesn't think much about anything.

If my husband looks at a rock, he thinks "rock." If I look at the same rock, I think of just about everything else. It's a little exhausting for me and limiting for him, but I suppose we complement each other nicely that way.

5. We have an extreme difference of opinion on the sharing of feelings.

I need to talk about every aspect of every feeling I have, always. He would rather dance naked through a fire in front of his boss and co-workers than talk about his feelings.

6. I am definitely more likely to cry than him, unless you are making him talk about his feelings and he instead chooses the naked fire dance.

7. I hate driving. He doesn't mind it so much.

8. I am not very knowledgeable about cars or sports, whereas he was born with some sort of manual that keeps him regularly informed with surprising accuracy.

9. My anxiety is full-force and nearly constant; his anxiety is crisis-oriented.

10. He will forever be my jar-opening resource and hero.

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