Break-in at the Hotel J & D Rock

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

There's been a break-in at the hotel J & D Rock, thought to have occurred at approximately 2 am Sunday, October 30. Two bikes, a blue one belonging to the D and a red one belonging to the J, are the only things that appear to have been stolen. They were taken from the basement of the 4-plex that the Hotel J & D Rock is part of, the perpetrators entered through the back door after breaking a window. The approximate value of the bikes and accessories stolen is $900. Fortunately, J & D carry renter's insurance and a claim has been reported.

Upon hearing the news, the landlord of the building cussed a stream of swear words and immediately changed his plans for the day so that he could change the locks, fix the window, frost the basement windows, and speak to the neighbors and police. Several tenants in the building subsequently came home to find the locks had been changed and they had no key, and had to ring all the other tenant's doorbells to be let in. In addition, the spray paint used to frost the windows caused all the tenants to experience dizziness and creative hallucinations.

J & D, as well as another tenant we shall call "Truck," heard the break-in but were unaware that it was not just a third tenant, who we shall call "Lamp," getting home. "Lamp" actually did get home around the same time as the break-in occurred, but was drunk, and came in a different door, so didn't suspect anything unusual. The noise that occurred during the break-in was quite unusual and J & D considered going out in the hallway to check things out, thinking "Lamp" may have passed out in the hallway or something, but decided not to and are now glad they didn't considering the scene they might have found was beyond what they could have dealt with in their pajamas in the middle of the night. These thiefs may have been coming home from a costume party! They may have been dressed up like some scary political figures like George W and Dick Cheney! And worse, they may have been riding J & D's bikes as they fled the scene!!

Heptamurder by PrgY

I gave lab meeting this week at work that I titled Heptamurder by PrgY, which is a nerdy Halloween reference to my project. But, I'm proud of it so I'm posting it. I also found the following picture to put on the first slide:

I'm not sure if anyone even noticed it because they were too busy oggling over the beer I brought, which was a big hit. We all got wasted, went bar hopping, and I came home with two strangers that my husband had to angrily send home. Who ever knew lab meeting could get so wild! I also made pumpkin pie, as practice for my upcoming favorite holiday (Thanksgiving). So, I am publicly patting myself on the back for such a great show at lab meeting, even though I had hardly any data to present due to my month-long absence from the lab.

I also hung up some pumpkin lights in our window in celebration of Halloween. We have some eyeball lights, but from the street you can't tell they're eyeballs so I decided to make them Christmas eyeball lights and hang them up at Christmas. This may greatly anger some of you, and I know it's not right, but it's just the way it is and there's nothing that can be done about it.

We won't be going to any parties this year, because my naked co-worker who usually throws a good party and even puts some clothes on for halloween is now living in Portland and it's just too far. So this year we probably won't dress up at all and since we live in an apartment we have never gotten any trick-or-treaters so it should be a pretty mellow night. I did buy a bag of candy about a month ago in case we got a trick-or-treater but the bag got eaten much faster than I anticipated due to the enormous capacity of my candy-fanatic-husband. So now if we get any trick-or-treaters we'll just have to yell at them out the window to go away.

I guess in Sweden they have a day near Easter where all the little kids dress up like witches and go out with their broomsticks to collect candy from people. They all like a good strong coffee there and since no witch would ever be without her coffee pot the kids actually collect the candy in the coffee pots instead of in plastic pumpkins like US kids do. I guess that ensures a perpetually good coffee market there whereas here it's more like a perpetual love for pumpkins and pumpkin pie, although we still have a pretty good coffee market.

Speaking of pumpkins, I have to mention that cnn.com and several other sources are reporting the phenomenon of the new trendy "ghost pumpkins" (white pumpkins). You can also buy miniature white pumpkins, which are called "baby boos." While the sexual orientation of these white pumpkins has been brought to question, it appears that this new trend is in large part due to a recent spread in Martha Stewart Living. These new "designer pumpkins" are expanding to include green, blue, and beige pumpkins (according to the Chicago Tribune). Personally, I'm impressed. Our society never ceases to find new twists to old themes and market them into popularity.

A Big Thank You

I got my car back yesterday from my Studly Mechanic at Como Imports. I owe them a big thank you for putting in all the extra work without charging the extra buck for it. They even kept it in their garage overnight with the windows open to help air it out (carpet is almost dry now). It's running pretty good and has a turn signal and seat belt back where it belongs and it starts when it should and all those nice things good legal cars do. I'm still mulling over exactly what to do to thank them and thought I'd start with a nice card that goes something like this...

The card has a BEFORE pic on the front:










Then inside is the AFTER pic:




and then a big THANK YOU!!!!






Some of you that have seen my car may be thinking, wow, I don't remember it being so shiny and new looking and rust-free and all the same color like that. Some of you that are more observant may be saying to yourself, hey, I'm pretty sure J-Funk's car isn't a station wagon. Well, you are all correct in your wondering because this isn't really my car, even though it's the same color and definitely just as fine. I hijacked this pic off of a website advertising this 1989 Toyota Camry for sale for $4,599. It only has 128,249 miles on it. It even resides in the groovy state of Washington. If you're interested you can check it out yourself at http://www.motorzoo.com/view.php?VIN=JT2SV21W9K0278335.

I've been thinking, if I could get on Pimp My Ride and get my car fixed up all nice maybe it would be worth that, too. Only a few dollars less because of all those extra miles. And maybe a few dollars less than that because of those couple of blemishes in the History Report (what deep water? accidents?). But I could still at least make back what I've spent this month don't you think?

So here's a summary:
Having your car towed to Como Imports: $80
Getting the water drained out from under the hood and all the spark plugs replaced: $200
Pop-starting your car to get it back to Como Imports: free (thank goodness)
New starter, alternator belt, and some pre-deep water long-needed maintenance like a new turn signal: more than I care to admit
Having an old car: PRICELESS

Let's go over what's so great about having an old car, just so we're on the same page. I can bop up onto a curb, run into a street sign, drive into a ditch, get keyed on the street, get my trunk busted into, leave it unlocked at night (which may prevent getting the trunk busted into again), and run into it with a shopping cart... all with the worry-free attitude of an old car owner. Plus I pay less in car insurance because if I wreck it I sure won't fix it.

Now we just have to decide... is it safe enough to drive out of the neighborhood?

Hurricane Wilma

Another hurricane was heading for Florida on Sunday so of course my mom hopped a plane heading straight into it and dragged my grandma with her. My uncle (her brother) is getting married Wednesday near Orlando and they had originally planned to go Monday. They thought they would go a day early instead to be sure to be there for all the chaos. From the sounds of it, some fruit got blown off the trees, a few branches fell here and there, the fence is looking a little worse, but all seems to be ok. I guess when it comes down to it there's actually not much to do but stay inside and wait it out, and that's exactly what they had to do. They sent a few emails to me and checked my blog, and probably watched some tv and took a nap, and then when it was all over they went outside and helped clean up the yard. I guess in addition to the hurricane there were a few tornados and unfortunately the golf course was closed today and several people in the party had wanted to go play.

Most important, the wedding is still on (I think) and all the activities are resuming as planned this afternoon, without the golfing. Congrats Steve and Sandy! Sorry I couldn't be there!

Pork Chops

Exerpt from an email I wrote this morning (I think it's very funny so I thought I'd post it):

"My Studly Hubby had something he had to finish at work - he had to set up this thing to 'render' which I guess takes about an hour. So I thought I'd sit down and write a few emails and all of a sudden he started cooking pork chops at the stove behind me. It's 8 am! I don't get it.

"Ok I just asked him what the hell, are we eating dinner now or what? because it smells damn good and now I want some. He pushed me away and exclaimed No! this is going in the crockpot for dinner. I was like, Damn! We had a brawl with some kung fu action and now I guess I lost because I'm back at the computer finishing up my email and he's still cooking pork chops."

Girls are BETTER

More evidence that girls are better:

This week's issue of Nature has an article about how pollution increases the probability of girls being born in that area. In addition,
"Research shows that natural disasters and crises such as terrorist attacks can increase the probability that a newborn is female."

Why would this be?

According to the article, there are two possiblities:
1. "This is thought to be the safer reproductive bet, as girls are likely to grow up and have a few children of their own. Boys are a more risky venture: they could father dozens of children, or none at all."

OR
2. Boys are the weaker sex: "...some scientists speculate that Y-chromosome sperm, which will produce boys, are weaker than X-chromosome sperm, and therefore more susceptible to environmental stresses. But that has not actually been proven..."

I venture a third option:
3. GIRLS ARE SMARTER, PRETTIER, and REQUIRE FEWER RESOURCES, therefore are better able to survive and overturn challenging circumstances.

Attention Germ-Phobes!

Finally! A study is done that shows the ineffectiveness of antibacterial soap!

Please stop filling our sewers up with antiobiotics and chemicals and use plain old soap that works just as well. These antibacterial soaps can be "evolution in action" and promote antibiotic-resistant bacteria, right on your hands after you wash them. According to this same article (through CNN.com), the FDA is considering putting warning labels on antibacterial soaps due to their potential danger to the environment.