I hate Baby Yoga

I really hate baby yoga.

I started going after someone in my regular yoga class recommended it (she said it helps you bond with your baby, but she was wrong). I hated it the first time but went back and somehow fell into a pattern where I kept going and kept hating it.

The main reason why I hate it is because the teacher really loves squatting and deep breathing. I hate both squatting and deep breathing and really really hate doing them together - I hate them so much I even put it in my birth plan, NO SQUATTING OR DEEP BREATHING.

Here is my teacher squatting and deep breathing, which I believe is her favorite thing in the whole wide world. I think she's convinced that we can all reach a higher existence this way. But my 'old man hips' (direct quote from my physical therapist) do not react kindly to squatting and deep breathing makes me hyperventilate, so I don't reach any higher existence this way - I just get dizzy and sore.

Another reason why I hate it is because the teacher keeps saying really annoying things like "the beautiful thing about birth is the unpredictability of it" and "we often get what we project so we need to think positively about birth." Then after she says something annoying like that she will make us squat and breath deeply while we think about it.

I guess there have been some good things about baby yoga too. We check in at the beginning of class every week and offer each other helpful advice. We practiced a lot of the labor positions they taught us in birth class, like leaning on a ball and putting a leg up on a chair and every variation of squatting and deep breathing you could ever think of. And we stretch out all the parts that pregnant ladies especially use like ankles and calves and hips, which are always glad to get stretched. I guess that's why I keep going. But tonight, with two weeks left until my due date, I was happy to think of how few classes I may have left, maybe even NONE, and it really cheered me up.